Calling all poops!!!

 Why? Oh why God, do people wait until 2 or 3am in the morning to suddenly remember they haven`t crap for over 3 days... What am I supposed to do?
Dramatization
 2a.m.
"Good morning Doctor Firulay, this is Ms. Cipreni speaking..." (On the other end) "yaaaaawwwwnnn, hump uh {cough} {cough}... what...Pipi what..who...hello, hello?..."This is Ms. Cipreni speaking and I`m calling concerning your patient Ms. Cucu from room 401C and she verbilized she hasn`t been able to poop for over 14 days, I was wondering if you could prescribe her some Cephulac or..."  {takes a deep breath} "...