Nightshift rationale

Strange things happpen during the nightshift. The thought process isn`t as accurate as it should be for healthcare workers. Its like a syndrome that manifests itself; first by twelve o`clock starting with a feeling of gaining weight on your feet, speed decrease, then eyelids heavyness and an asyncronized eye flashing are observed. Then by 1:30 am a slight desorientation, loss of balance,  dysarthria steps in, decrease in sincronized ambulation and an ataxic-like-gait is observed, increase moments of spontaneous deep REM sleep patterns while standing or sitting or even during ambulation, where one assumes the same cathatonic positions like a drug addict in the middle of their crack trip. Finally a slight sicosis, no awareness between whats real and unreal. I call this the nightshift circadian dysryithmic syndrome. We all know or have gotten to know this syndrome. This is a small example.



RN Ms. Culiquitaca arrives with 10 Units of Platletes: "Ms. Cipreni can you double check this units for me?" Ms.Cipreni:"Yes, of course" While double checking the number series (W63251012558) The Unit (W63251012558) The paper, (W63251056779) The Unit (W63251056779) The paper, and so on....until...(W63251...)zzz zzz.. What, what?...pheww... (w6325...." and in a very far away voice I heard Ms.Culiquitaca asking "Hey Cipreni, and what was the time limit to tranfuse the platelets?" An in a semiconscious state I replied " It can be between 30minutes...zzzzz...zzzz...uh uh hump.zzzzzz.. to 48hrs.... (no wait, check yourself, you just said something weird, irrational and stupid...think... WAKE UUUUUUUP!!!) And as I slowly and asyncronized opened my eyes, like the eyes of those porcelein dolls with one open and the other halfway there, there she was, Ms. Culiquitaca looking straight at me "Cipreni, you actually think that I`m going to stand bedside for two days until the Platelets are transfused?...Just signed the damm papers.

Calling all poops!!!

 Why? Oh why God, do people wait until 2 or 3am in the morning to suddenly remember they haven`t crap for over 3 days... What am I supposed to do?
Dramatization
 2a.m.
"Good morning Doctor Firulay, this is Ms. Cipreni speaking..." (On the other end) "yaaaaawwwwnnn, hump uh {cough} {cough}... what...Pipi what..who...hello, hello?..."This is Ms. Cipreni speaking and I`m calling concerning your patient Ms. Cucu from room 401C and she verbilized she hasn`t been able to poop for over 14 days, I was wondering if you could prescribe her some Cephulac or..."  {takes a deep breath} "...

A Sudden German metamorphosis

What do you do when there is an emergency at 3am in the morning and you need to talk to the attending physician but suddenly he or she talks in an unkown language.
3a.m.
"Um, Good Morning Doctor Lelolay, this is Ms. Cipreni speaking, and I`m calling concerning Mr. Trululu, from room 504B.." (at the other end) "hump huh {cough} {cough}...what...Ms. Pipi ... who, what... hello, hello?" ..."Doctor Firulay this is Ms. Cipreni and I`m calling concernig Mr. Trululu from room 504B his been referring chest pain, fatigue, his vital signs are HR110/min and irregular, RR28/min, BP 178/100mmHg,T 37.8 C, he looks diaphoretic, troponins levels are positives" (at the other end) "... Hump hu {cough} {snifff} {cough} ... put the pachtznitzer on tridhaitzner to run at {cough} fitz millerhoutzen per hour and take troposnautzer evhgrg sxxh for tu..{sniff} then call me back." "...Ok, umm...ok, so it... um let me refrase... you want to put the patient on tridhlar to..." (other end) "Yes, on tridil ..." "...tu run at..." "other end" ...silence... "Hello, Doctor Lelolay?" ... "Yes"... "Ok, thank you Ill call you as soon as possible".... "What the hell did he mean... Crap!"...