Tell the gigant man to stop it!!!

"Nena es que se sentia como si un gigante hubiera cogido el piso y lo hubiera meneado bien duro" said a slim old unknown man at the laundromat while shaking his shoulders as if dancing rumba, with maracas and those polyester,shiny, colorfull, con los pelos negros y gruesos del pecho exposed, fluffy arm shirts, a big mustache and saying "caliente, ay ay ay ay aaarrrrr". Then after his rumba impression of an earthquake he stood in a gayish fashion with his hip cocked to one side, left hand on the hip, while the right one acted every word he vocally expressed, maybe he knew sign language, but then again thats a puertorican innate skill.
"...like a gigant had shooked up the ground" that stucked in my brain...
"Hi, good evening I`m Miss Cipreni and I`ll be..." "Excuse me, I`m sorry what was your name again? Miss Che...pipi?" "No" Chupawa? Chubaca?" "No...umm sir..." "Cheerio? Cheetah?" "No,no its..." "Chuleta? Capri? Topeka?what who?" (what the hell? where the hell did he... it doesn`t even sound... whatever) "No, it`s Ciiiipreeeniiii" "Are you puertorican?" I thought: (NO I`M FROM NARNIA you cacahead!!) but I replied: "Yes yes, I`m puertorican. So, Mr. Pepito Pera, you came with Dx. Pneumonia/Acute Bronchitis/Head Trauma/Butt bleeding/Cholera/Ebola/Ass Obstruction/Culiquitaca/Broccolli/Tuberculosis/Boy George Syndrome with a Hx. Frequent Public Farting- like -disease. Are you having difficulty breathing?" "No" "Have you been coughing or expectoring any kind of secretions?" "A little bit" "Can you describe the secretions sir?" "Well, they`re green at first then they turn yellow, black, purple, brown, grey with lots of bubbles, hard, with pieces of meatballs. Sometimes it moves and at other times it talk. Oh and it smells like cotton candy"
After I heard him describe a troll, or whatever it was he was coughing out, I started doing a focused examination. "Sir, I`m gonna auscultate your lungs" after placing the stethoscope`s diaphragm on his back "Ok sir, now breath slowly" (ok, upper vesicular sounds, middle bronchial sound... oh, what..." chacacha chucuchu chacacha chucuchu, biribiri ban ban, biri ban ban, ah biri ah biri ah biri ban ban was the basal posterior lung sound. And as I heard it  I started singing "... cada vez, cada vez que lo veo pasaaaar, se emociona, se emociona, ya no reaccciona y empieza a cantar" the lung: biribiri ban ban biri ban ban biribiri ban ban biri ban ban. The auscultation process was going melodically good, even thought of starting a new career, but suddenly... just suddenly... the gigant man came.
While still auscultating, with the stethoscopes earplugs on (Why is this man moving so much? Hmm, crap, are you gonna keep on moving?) I turn my eyes toward the patient`s family were I met their stare.
Looking straight into their eyes was like looking at those old black and white psycho-horror films scene where they record only the hysterical eyes. You know, those scene were one of the character sees a monster or vampire or werewolf or chupacabras or is about to get butchered and screams but the camera focuses on the eyes. Like the Psycho movie shower scene. At that moment I thought (What are they looking at? Tendre un moquito en la nariz? What the hell? Are this people retarded?) Then I felt funny. Then I was moving...without moving...weird...isn`t it? (Hmmm, is this a...no it can`t be...I`ve never...no...) Then my stare moved from the patient`s family to the window. And there I saw it...the gigant man or maybe it was a gigant woman going through menstrual cramps screaming: "TYLLENOL!!!!!. I saw the plastic cover of the windows tremble like the rumba shaking shoulders, first slowly and then like rumba hell. Its was as if God had said: "Release the Cracken!!" or "Release the Crackhead". They made a horrible sound "BUM BUM BUM!!" or perhaps it was "Swoosh swooosh swooosh!!". When I finally realize what was going on (Terreeeemotoooooo!!!!AAAAyyyyy Dios mio!!!!!!! AAaaaaahhh Aaaahhhhh!! We`re going to die!! Ay nos morimos!! Nos aplasta la cosa estaaaa!!!) Obviously only stayed in  my head, I tried to hold my composture. Have you ever been in one of those situations were everybody knows whats going on, everybody thinks about doing the same thing, but nobody acts like they really know, so nobody does anything thinking that the other will think their retarded.
I took off my earplugs and thinking of the end of my days, a lady finally breaks the normally akward silence and says: "Ay, yo creo que esta temblando. Es un terremoto" (No shit lady) And as a normal response to an abmnormal situation we started moving in concentric circle, not really moving anywhere or knowing what the hell to do. Now I understand ants when they run for they`re lives.
(Ok, calm down calm down!!) But as I came to my senses I realized everybody in this patient`s room and others comming out to the hall where looking at me and as the multitude encircled me, they exclaimed "Oh thy great lider, oh chosen one, lead us..." (I ain`t leading nobody nowhere) "... lead us from the punishment, lead us through our despair." At that moment I grew a big beard, became bold, I was holding a wood cane. But just as I was about to run out of the hospital, somebody gave the gigant woman some Tyllenol stat. The gigant woman said in a transvesti-like- Grace-Jones-voice: "Aaahh, Ay graciaaaaasss! Hmmmmm!"
Finally, after everything settle down I thought "Maybe I should review the emergency evacuation process guide."